Tuesday, February 13, 2007

I can't lie

Today we went to sign a lease on a new place. She asked about our cats and we told her, as we were reading She said, if you get a dog, let us know and well add an assessment...we saw the "$350 extra per month per dog' and we didn't mention Bettie.

And it GNAWED at me...along with some other things. We came home and I started crying, saying I didn't want to live like 20 yr olds hiding our dog, if we told them we couldn't afford the extra $350 on top of the extra $700 we are gonna pay in the rent hike, and that I feared we wouldn't FIND anyplace cause its SOOOOO hard here and expensive. And she told us they were gonna turn THOSE into condo's too, so we could only have an 11 month lease..well I just felt like crap and didn't want to have to move AGAIN in a year. I HATE being in this position=hate hate hate having someone lord over whether you are homeless or not...AGGH!

So within an hour of signing the lease, Rob called to back out of the lease. She was peeved we didn't mention the dog but said she could work around it=they just didn't want great danes who peed all over the hallways (we have one inour building now) and she had the finance guy of the company call to reassure us they wouldn't sell THIS building in a year...

So Rob is ok with it all, but I feel like now we will be known as "the liars" and we aren't...we just panicked and didn't do the right thing. And we fessed up nearly immediately=but I don't know if that really matters in peoples minds, they tend to remember you lied, not that you came clean.

So-I don't know.....I just don't know..

I did read something helpful tonight on an interview on Stevepavlina.com

Question: Do you perceive events and circumstances as being either good or bad? When a seemingly tragic or negative event occurs in your life, how do you respond to it?

Answer: You have to see it for more than what it is. I was hit head on by a car in the late ’80s, and it totally changed my life. I started looking at things a lot differently. It was a real significant emotional event for me. What I realized is that no matter where you are in life, challenges are a part of life, and to think otherwise is illusion. It really is.
Don’t wish for an easier life… that’s illusion. Wish for greater capacity and capability to ease elegantly through life. We always have challenges in life; and the bigger the game you play, the bigger the challenges.

and thats what I'm wishing for now.


Maija said...

Not to worry, Barbe....most people would lie, steal, cheat or kill for their babies!
You are not a bad person.

Saints and Sinners said...

Thank you Maija, I REALLY needed to hear that!

Stephanie said...

I read this Abe quote a little while ago..maybe you will find it helpful..

"You have to tell the story the way you WANT it to be, not the
way it is. If you keep telling it the way it is, it keeps being the
way it is. But when you tell it the way you want it to be, it changes."