Sunday, December 05, 2010

Reverb10: Let Go


You all know, I'm a big believer in synchronicity and the universe leaving little hints here and there to help us when we need it.  My sleep schedule is completely messed up from being sick. I'll nap off and on during the day then at night I'm up until 4am or 5 or later....So, in the wee hours of the morning yesterday while blog surfing I came across Bonnie Rose's Blog where she talks about Reverb10. 

What the heck is reverb10?  The description from the website: Reverb 10 (#reverb10) is  an annual event,  an open online initiative that encourages participants to reflect on this year and manifest what’s next. It’s an opportunity to retreat and consider the reverberations of your year past, and those that you’d like to create in the year ahead. We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.

If EVER there was something I needed that showed up at just the right time in my life, this would be a prime example. Everyday they post a prompt, today's prompt is:

Let Go: What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I laugh that THIS is my first prompt. I want to say "what DIDN'T I let go of in 2010?  Some things that I let go of have been painful.   I let go of my beloved cat of 18 yrs.  I let go of trying to make my marriage work when it clearly wasn't and in turn had to let my husband and our 12 1/2 yr marriage go.  That was very very hard but I truly believe its for the best for BOTH of us in the long run. So, now I've let go of security and stability while I go out on my own after so many years. I am leaving my beloved San Francisco with its diversity and temperate climate and moving to W.Va at Christmas time where its 25 degrees and snowing.   I'll be leaving my super urban, down town city living in my loft apt and moving into a 120 yr old brick flat in the historic district of a tiny city of 35,000 people. I've also let go of some other relationships where I gave more than I got in return.  Energy suckers and people who only know you when they want something or need someone one to cry on. I deserve more than that in a friendship.

But letting go isn't always a painful thing.  I'm letting go of so many "things" because I have to move and can't talk all this junk with me.  While purging, I have come to realize how much I held on to things over the last 10 or so years because of fear. Fear I "might" need it "one day" or fear I wouldn't be able to find or replace it if I got rid of it....  Now things are going to Goodwill, to friends or getting sold and along with all that stuff I didn't need I'm also letting go of stress of clutter and chaos. 

9 comments:

sharon said...

Hope you start to feel better soon, and I wish you nothing but happiness as you venture forth. I am TRYING to let go of worry...things that are out of my control, and maybe a couple of pounds!

glimmering prize said...

letting go is a tremendously difficult thing to do. it does help us to become lighter and more capable of handling the "now." helps us live in the moment. there are a few things I would like to just let aside... maybe in 2012. best wishes with your move.

Spirited Earth said...

what you're experiencing sounds similar to what i went thru some years back. death of a parent,break up of a 11yr relationship,move across country back "home" which i wasn't thrilled about and leaving good friends.i felt my life was scattered to the winds on every level..Hopefully this next year will bring you some brighter moments.

Courtney said...

I am sorry about all the letting go. Sounds very hard. SF is a beautiful place, but the East has it's charms also. Hey, WV isn't far from DC - Coffee?

Lola M. said...

I love that you have not let go of your sense of humor, albeit dark or biting at times, but that's what I like:) Good job on purging, I'm sure you're already beginning to feel lighter. You'll be wonderful wherever you are living, Barbe.

Donna said...

Enjoyed your post. I can feel your strength. Happy Holidays and very best wishes on your journey. Donna

Carmen said...

Feliç any 2011 !!

Christine said...

Good Luck w/your move to wild, wonderful WV! Loved the bracelets on Bonnie Rose's blog - Be, Breathe, Strength! I might also add - smile - if a smile doesn't make you feel better, it will someone else & in turn, you will.

Anonymous said...

YOU CAN DO IT!!!